The Secret to Life Is…

Well, I thought that procrastination would be a fantastic topic to cover for this article. Why? Purely for selfish reasons. Well actually, no, I know we have all suffered from it at some point in our life, myself included. Simply look at the date of my last article. Since that time I have started working on three different topics and have revisited each one on many occasions and have completed none of them. Sound familiar? Well it should, everyone procrastinates.

We put things off because we either don’t want to do them, or because we have too many things on our plates. I have been told, “putting things off big or small is part of human nature,” but why? That is what I plan to search because once we create the awareness, we can change or modify our behaviours eliminating procrastination once and for all. Read the rest of this entry »

Over the last week, I was fortunate to escape the cold and snow of Northern Canada and hit the beaches of sunny Florida. There I had the pleasure to spend some time with my ninety year old grandmother. Unfortunately, she is suffering from dementia and her memory is not so well. For me, the time with her has been a learning experience about the mind. I have had many breakthroughs in my thinking this last week. Not just in life but in business practices as well. The reason I am writing this post is because at the beginning of this year I started asking myself these five questions and it dawned on me this week of how many answers I have received. A personal example, I set a goal to create a book about how emotions create physical symptoms in the body. I had a title for the book, some ideas but really not much else. Well this week, the information to the pages of the book have been flowing to me.

Last year, my goal was to ‘play big’ in life and I am living it. This year I made a choice to be the best, or the expert, so I sat down and answered the following five questions in “Being the Best Me”. For me the first time I asked and answered these questions were huge. In fact, I continue to use these principles/questions on a daily basis.

If you had the opportunity to read my Ebook, you read how re-framing using questions is a powerful exercise and through using questions creates powerful things in your life. Can I question myself to being the best me? I believe so! Take a moment, answer the following five questions honestly and you will be on your way to a successful year.

1) What are 5 things you are grateful for right now in your life?
In order to get what you want in life, you have to know what you have now that is great ~ Your starting point ~

2) If five of the most important people (family/friends) in your life were to die tomorrow, what would you want to tell them before they died? What would you say in their eulogy?
Tell them today!

3) If I could wave a magic wand and grant you three wishes, peace in this world, a career you love, more money, etc. What would they be?
Do not worry about the ‘how’ but having something to pursue keeps life exciting and enjoyable.

4) If you can change or improve one area in your life, right now. What area would it be?
Do what is necessary to make those changes/improvements now!

5) What would you hope people say about you when you are gone?
Live like that NOW!

After you have answered these questions, the next step is the biggest for two reasons. The first because it is the number one reason why you fail to achieve what you want in life, but more importantly because it will be the number one reason you succeed.
That step is to follow through.
TAKE ACTION NOW!

I often hear people say, “I am such a procrastinator,” “I can’t save money,” “I know I judge people,” “I know I am….Whatever! The next thing out of their mouth is, “Oh well, that is who I am.” These statements do not define who you are as a person, but many of you think they do. These statements may stop or restrict you from doing something or moving forward in some area of your life. They are just habits or ways of being that you developed because of past experiences.

How do you break old habits? Its simple, Stop it! When life has become the same thing over and over again, what do you do? Stop it! How do you stop, spending money, overeating, or procrastinating? YOU STOP IT!

When you have problems, most people act like that the stereotypical tourist who is in a foreign country and is trying to get directions where English is not understood. When they ask a questions that is not understood, they repeat the question only louder and slower, hoping that that will help them to understand. When what you are doing doesn’t work, you often try it again, only louder or harder. This persistence often leads to failure and keeps you from getting what you want. To solve the problem, stop it, and change what you are doing.

I know, I know, you are saying, “easier said then done.” If you have been one of the fortunate people to receive an early copy of my E-book you are one step ahead. If not, it will be available to everyone in the upcoming weeks. In the book I discuss that in order to move forward in life you have to know where you are coming from. Basically, you have to know where you are being stopped or where your problem arose. At times, many people know what they have to do to change, but they don’t. Why? Its too hard, they don’t have the patience, they don’t have enough time, all good stories of just movig forward and doing it.

The sporting giant ‘Nike’ has a great slogan, “Just Do It!” They also attached that slogan with of some the best athletes in their respective sport, Micheal Jordan, Daniel Alfredsson, and Tiger Woods. All household names, each of whom live by this motto. To be the best you have to acknowledge whats holding you back or where your problem is. Then work on that area of your game, improve it and move on. If all Tiger Woods had was a fantastic drive do you really think he would be as great and well-known a golfer as he is? No, he would be just another John Daly, someone who outside of the golfing community is an unknown.

In summary, you first need to acknowledge what is holding you back or stopping you. Everytime old patterns come up for you, stop it! Change your focus from the thinking or feeling to action. If it continues to show up, focus on what has worked or what is working for you rather than what hasn’t or isn’t working for you. Just Do It!

Comedian Bob Newhart does a short(6min) parody that makes light of exactly what I was saying. Check it out!

Have you ever had a thought to turn right and surprisingly avoid an accident? Or had a ‘hunch’ to place a bet on sports game and won? Who told you to go right or pick that underdog? That little voice did. Not the voice from your evil twin, the one that is in constant chatter in your head that tells you that you are not good enough, smart enough, etc. The voice I’m talking about is that voice from deep down in your gut. That is your intuition. When we listen to it and trust that voice tremendous things happen for us.

Unfortunately, all too often your intuition takes a back-seat to your evil twin and you choose with your head, your intellect. Making decisions from here keeps you from achieving that weight loss, that good health, that dream job or that million dollars. The voice is on automatic pilot and creates self-judgment in each of you. Take a moment and listen to yourself, for a moment. What is that evil twin saying? Most often you will hear things like “I really want to lose weight” but the next thought you have immediately after is “I’ve always been heavy and it runs in the family.” Or you may hear, “I’m tired of being lonely, I really want to be happily married” but the next thought is, “Marriage doesn’t work, look how miserable mom and dad where, I don’t want that.” This voice was conditioned into you by your parents, siblings, teachers, your friends. It caused you to act, react, and be who and what you’ve become today.

So just how did your ugly twin take over. Well today most people rely heavily on empirical data for their information. You were told that you have to ‘see it to believe it’ or that there has to be scientific proof for something to exist. When you had thoughts, feelings or beliefs that you believed were ‘right’, were quickly silenced and you were dismissed and told you were ‘wrong’. As a result, the faith in your credibility in your intuition diminished and eventually you stopped trusting and listening to it.

Your intuition is a remarkable gift, a sixth sense given to you at birth. It is a connection to your inner self and it is up to you to cultivate it to its’ greatest extent. It no longer needs to remain quiet and small. Allow it to grow and give it power. It serves to protect you and help you achieve in all areas of your life. This voice speaks to us constantly, its’ your instincts, always leading you in the direction that is best for you at the time. So take time to develop and strength it again. It’s been a while.

Throughout each day, when faced with a particular situation you may be struggling with, just sit quietly, close your eyes, drop your shoulders and take a deep breath and listen to what comes up. Sometimes it may be helpful to ask a question and then listen. The voice may not be loud, and it may not even be an audible voice. It may be a whisper, a feeling or an image. Be opened minded to the answer and most importantly trust the answer you receive.

Imagine yourself at a red-light, and you look out your car window at the driver in the car next to yours. You gaze at them interested in something in their appearance or mannerisms. As you study this person remotely, the power of attention moves across space and time and touches this person in some way. Sure enough the person turns and looks at you! Or simply, have you ever said to yourself, “I have to call, ‘Diane’” only to have Diane contact you. That is your hidden gift! The power of attention!

This hidden power can be used for good or bad. When you are self-aware you can use this power for your own benefit. However, when this power operates on its’ own, within you, without your awareness, it can cause many problems. Any time your attention is placed, without your awareness, or as a means to escape ends up, more often than not in a self-destructive situation. Here is how an unattended mind can be the feeding ground for self-defeat.
A thought pops into your mind about a problem that is bothering you. Along with the thought comes some sort of an emotional disturbance. Let’s say you try on your favourite pair of jeans only to find out they longer fit. Feelings of feeling fat, unattractive, or unwanted may surface. You may begin to distance yourself from your spouse or lover. In this state, two things can occur. You instantly define what needs to be done or you feel hopeless and powerless. So feelings of a diet or exercise regimen are needed, or you feel that losing weight is not possible for you. Regardless of your thought pattern both lead to the same dark place. The more you feed these thoughts and feelings the deeper the hole. As you can see you created these thoughts and feelings and have given it life. You were the creator of your own creation. Being attentive to our inner self we can see how our unhappiness is self created.

As you can see how unattended minds can feaster and create what we don’t want in our life. The whole drama played inside our mind, storyline, stage, cast and leading characters. Your pain is a product of your own interpretation. Maybe you developed a food allergy which is causing unnoticeable bloating, maybe you washed your jeans and they shrunk, maybe you increased your water intake and have some retention or just maybe you have not been eating well, and the weight gain is a reminder to go back to your old natural way of eating. You lashing out at yourself, or resisting what you think is happening, the more it happens. The pain or your own misconceptions produces the enemies in your life to keep it alive.

You suffer as a result of these painful thoughts and feelings hoping that not wanting them will make them go away. Unfortunately, not wanting something in your life only brings you more of it. Your unconscious actions of ‘not’ something, puts more focus on it. So if you don’t want to gain anymore weight, what are you unconsciously asking for; more weight gain.

So how do you change? Many believe the best ways are to resist, suppress or try to change the condition as seen by being responsible. The best way is to create a watchfulness approach.
The best exercise is to reclaim your attention. A couple of times each day, deliberately disconnect yourself from your own thinking. Choose awareness of your thoughts versus being absorbed by them and their sensations that guide you to where they want to go. This awareness empowers you to catch and release your own unattended thoughts that have been busy cooking something up in the kitchen and using you as the pig. Each time you remember to reclaim your attention, it enables you to regain your life. Enjoy!